


The Last Argument

by jp2187



Series: Anakin Happy Ending AU [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, And a happy ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anisoka, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Past Anidala, Toddler Luke & Leia, post-ROTS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-11 13:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19110478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jp2187/pseuds/jp2187
Summary: Anakin did not know how Padmé was arguing with him from beyond the grave, but even after her death they were somehow still managing it.Given everything he had done before leaving Mustafar with her and Obi-Wan, Anakin deserved to die.Although his promise to Padmé that he would take care of their children kept him alive, he certainly did not deserve to ever be happy again.  As a widower in exile on Tatooine, being crushed by the full weight of his sins, Anakin knew he never would be.Padmé, he sensed, vehemently disagreed.In their last great argument, however, Anakin had the empty consolation of being assured victory . . . until Padmé cheats and reunites Anakin with his long lost padawan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jairyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jairyn/gifts).



> Because I just really need Anakin to have a happy ending.

 

Anakin did not know how Padmé was arguing with him from beyond the grave, but even after her death they were somehow still managing it.

 

Given everything he had done before leaving Mustafar with her and Obi-Wan, Anakin deserved to die.

 

Although his promise to Padmé that he would take care of their children kept him alive, he certainly did not deserve to ever be happy again. As a widower in exile on Tatooine, being crushed by the full weight of his sins, Anakin knew he never would be.

 

Padmé, he sensed, vehemently disagreed.

 

In their last great argument, however, Anakin had the empty consolation of being assured victory.

 

 

The conversation he had had to have with his stepfamily when he showed up on their doorstep had been possibly the most mortifying of his life.

 

“Hi, I know it’s been a few years and you probably thought you’d never see me again, but would you mind if I buried my dead wife next to my dead mother outside of your house? By the way, I’m on the run from some extremely dangerous people—yes, more dangerous than the Hutts—and the reason I’m back on Tatooine is the planet has a Force dampening effect that will help me hide. Also, I’m really sorry about this especially since I know we’re not actually related, but someone might come looking for me because of our loose association—and even if I’m not here they likely won’t leave you alive. So, if you want you can let me, my twin infants, and grumpy friend live with you so we can try and protect you if anyone ever comes around, or we’ll go elsewhere and you’ll be on your own. Your call.”

 

Not giving the Lars family much of a choice, Anakin, Obi-Wan, the twins, and the droids had moved in. His stepfather and now stepsister-in-law had been welcoming. His stepbrother, however, had been understandably livid.

 

Anakin soon saw that Owen’s foul temper was due in part to being chronically overworked. Cliegg had never gotten out of his hoverchair after losing a leg while trying to rescue Anakin’s mother from the Tuscan raiders. This left all the heavy lifting on Owen’s shoulders, and as much as he protested Anakin’s presence he could really use some help.

 

Even with having brought a pair of useful droids in tow, it took Anakin fixing a dead moisture vaporator and then making a new one from scratch for his stepbrother to even begin to forgive him for putting their family in danger.

 

 

Anakin too was filled with fear of discovery.

 

It was well known in the wrong circles that he was from Tatooine. But if anyone came looking for him they would likely start in his hometown of Mos Espa. There was still, however, one way for someone to track him to Mos Eisley. Anakin eventually decided he could no longer avoid a visit his old master, Watto, to beg, bribe, and threaten the Toydarian into keeping silent about the location of the Skywalkers.

 

Fearful that his former padawan would get grabbed by one of Palpatine’s agents, Obi-Wan did not want him to go alone. Anakin, however, insisted that one of them stay behind to guard the twins and his stepfamily. In the end they agreed that Anakin was more likely to be able complete the task discreetly, and Obi-Wan had reluctantly agreed to stay behind.

 

In embarking on the long and dangerous journey to Mos Espa, Anakin did not dream of using the ship they had arrived in, which he had carefully concealed in a rocky cave in the nearby hills. Instead he asked to again borrow Owen’s speederbike. After Anakin promised to fully refurbish it when he returned, his stepbrother relented.

 

In Mos Espa, Anakin found Watto’s shop abandoned, and decided to risk making an inquiry to a neighbor.

 

“Why is Watoo suddenly so popular with outlanders?! He died _years_ ago in a fight over a gambling debt,” the neighbor told him in heavily accented Huttese.

 

The report was both concerning and comforting. Concerning because it validated all of Anakin’s paranoia that Palpatine was hunting him. Comforting because the way for the Skywalkers to be linked to the Lars’ moisture farm no longer existed.

 

Anakin took a circuitous route home, fearful of being followed and himself unwittingly leading Palpatine’s agents to his family. Eventually he was confident, however, that he had made it and out of Mos Espa unnoticed by any enemies that remained in the town, and returned to the homestead.

 

Obi-Wan was visibly relieved when Anakin was safely home. He embraced his former padawan tightly, holding onto him for a few heartbeats longer than usual. Anakin had not realized just how worried his mentor had been that he would not make it back.

 

Anakin and Obi-Wan were always prepared to fight or flee. They were never without their lightsabers, and one them was always within striking distance of the homestead. However, the intel Anakin had obtained was welcome news, and the probability of the imminent attack they feared lessened with the passage of time.

 

 

They all eventually settled into a routine of life on Tatooine. Enlisting the aid of Beru, without whom Anakin knew he would never be able to keep two babies alive, the former Jedi briefly turned Sith Lord got to work as a moisture farmer.

 

For someone who thrived on adventure and excitement, Anakin’s new existence did feel like a degree of the torture he deserved. Farming water from the desert air was laborious and boring. Anakin was also now surrounded by endless miles of sand, which continued to be rough, coarse, irritating—and he still absolutely hated it.

 

The mindless work was also not much of a distraction from flashbacks of the unspeakable atrocities he had committed that were never far from his memory.

 

_“Master Skywalker, there are too many of them . . .”_

 

_“Lord Sidious promised . . .”_

 

 

What Anakin really wanted was to be dead.

 

It would not come close to atoning for all he had done, but it would be what he deserved.

 

What kept him alive, however, was the promise Padmé had extracted from him with her dying breath.

 

_“Look at me Anakin! You have to take care of our children! Promise me!”_

 

 

The twins.

 

 

Luke and Leia were the light of his life—light he did not deserve. If Padmé had not made it a condition that he would raise them himself, Anakin long ago would have given in to his conviction they would be better off without him. Leaving them in the care of better people who would not screw up their lives, he would have ended his.

 

Padmé, however, had thought of that and outmaneuvered him.

 

So instead of a bold definitive act, Anakin was left with the insufficient penance of enduring the mundane irritations and drudgery of daily life.

 

 

Today started off like any other day.

 

Anakin awoke early, sweat rolling off his chest from the previous night’s nightmares. Dressing quietly to not wake the twins, he crept outside the homestead. All too soon he would feel the tremor in the Force of his toddlers waking up that would signal the start of a new exhausting day. But in the predawn light, Anakin had a few minutes to himself.

 

Standing in front of the gravestones of his wife buried next to his mother, it was the only time of the day Anakin allowed himself to feel the full weight of his despondency and grief. With the rising of the sun he would have pack away his dark emotions for fear he would contaminate his Force sensitive children. But for now the darkness and depression washed over him in waves.

 

As he did every morning, Anakin fell to his knees in front of his wife’s grave, tears streaming down his face.

 

“It should have been me. I’m the one who deserves to die—not you. You should be here,” Anakin sobbed, “The twins need you . . . I need you.”

 

As usual the answer he got was a vague sense of compassionate but staunch disagreement.

 

 

 

This morning was not like other mornings, however, as while kneeling in the glow of the Tatooine sunrise, Anakin suddenly felt a faint tremor in the Force.

 

It was far off but getting stronger by the second.

 

And on the horizon he saw a speederbike approaching, kicking up a trail of dust in its wake.

 

 

Fear gripped Anakin’s heart.

 

 

They had been found.

 

 

There was no way Palpatine would come himself, and Anakin suddenly had a flashback from his childhood of Maul running him down on a speederbike and Qui-Gon telling him to drop.

 

Anakin’s lightsaber flew into his hand, and he ignited it as he charged towards the speeder so rapidly approaching his family.

 

Man and speeder were seconds away from colliding when the Force signature of the rider suddenly slammed into him with a jolt.

 

Anakin dropped his lightsaber into the sand and it automatically shut down. He did not, however, slow his pace.

 

In a single impossible move, the rider swung the speeder to an abrupt stop and launched off of it.

 

And Anakin opened his arms wide to catch her . . .

 

 

As Ahsoka Tano crashed into his embrace.

 

 

“Master! Anakin!” Ahsoka cried as she flung her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist.

 

Anakin caught his former padawan, and somehow managed to stay on his feet.

 

“Snips?!” Anakin cried.

 

They clung to each other for a full minute before Anakin finally set her down, and caressed her cheek has he looked disbelievingly at her. Ahsoka pressed his hand more firmly against her with both of hers, as tears streamed down her face.

 

“How?” Anakin stammered, “Last I heard you were kicking Maul off Mandalore . . . with the Clones. How did you survive the Purge?”

 

“Rex had his inhibitor chip removed after what happened to Fives. When the Clones-” Ahsoka briefly choked up, “When the Clones turned, Rex helped me. We faked our deaths and escaped. I’ve been bouncing around the Outer Rim, hiding and working as a mechanic.”

 

Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit Anakin.

 

“Ahsoka, how did you find me? Were you followed? Who else knows where I am?” Anakin asked, anxiety rapidly welling up in him as he looked towards the horizon she had come from, scanning it for pursuers.

 

Ahsoka put a steadying hand on his arm.

 

“No one else knows where I’ve gone, and I made sure I wasn’t followed,” she said soothingly.

 

“And as for how I found you,” Ahsoka said, briefly pausing to mentally put into words something that pushed the bounds of credulity, “I had a dream that Padmé told me you were still alive, and on a Tatoonine a moisture farm outside of Mos Eisley . . . and that you needed me.”

 

“So I made my way here,” she continued, “As outlandish as it was, if there was even the remotest possibility that you were still alive I would never be able to rest until I came to see. I didn’t dare really hope it was true, but it was about time for me to move anyway, so I figured the worst case scenario would be checking out a new place to hide. And best case-”

 

She was suddenly overcome with emotion.

 

“Oh Master!” Ahsoka said, as she flung herself back into his arms.

 

Anakin held her tightly, and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

 

“Padmé?” Ahsoka asked into his chest.

 

“She’s gone, Snips,” Anakin told her sadly.

 

 

They remained that way for a while, mourning their lost friends and loved ones—grateful they no longer had to include each other on that list.

 

Suddenly struck with an unanswered question, Ahsoka pulled away and asked, “But how did _you_ survive?!”

 

Anakin abruptly slammed his mental barriers up.

 

He could tell Ahsoka noticed, but was grateful she did not comment or push him for an explanation.

 

“Padmé and Obi-Wan rescued me,” Anakin responded by giving her the most vague version of the truth.

 

“Obi-Wan’s alive?!” Ahoska exclaimed, and Anakin was glad their conversation was heading in a different direction.

 

“Yes, and he’s here with me. He’s going to be ecstatic to see you!” Anakin said before amending, “Well as ecstatic as Obi-Wan gets, anyway.”

 

“And Cody?” Ahsoka kept going in her hopeful inquires.

 

“No Snips. He still had his chip in,” Anakin told her sadly, “He tried to kill Obi-Wan who barely got away.”

 

 

With arms still wrapped around each other, they eventually started making their way toward the homestead on foot.

 

Although stopping to collect his lightsaber, for now Anakin left the speederbike where it stood, fearing if he let go of Ahsoka she would turn into a desert mirage and disappear.

 

 

“Snips, what’s going on out there?” Anakin finally asked.

 

“Things are not good, Anakin,” she replied.

 

“The Clones and I managed to capture Maul on Mandalore, but after—Rex said the Chancellor called it ‘Order 66’—and all the Clones went crazy, Maul escaped. Somehow he linked back up with Palpatine, who continues to turn the Republic into his Empire after declaring himself Emperor. Maul is now his top lieutenant, and back to being Darth Maul,” Ahsoka told him.

 

From behind his mental barriers, Anakin contemplated her news. After he had not returned, Palpatine had apparently reconciled with his former apprentice to obtain a replacement.

 

Anakin could not help musing on how that was likely going.

 

Palpatine had once shared with him the tale of “Dark Plagueis the Wise,” who was not wise enough to avoid getting killed in his sleep by his apprentice after imparting everything he knew. Anakin now understood that Palpatine had been that apprentice who slew his master. Because that’s how the Sith Lord relationship worked—master helping the apprentice grow stronger to obtain their service, but not too strong, while the apprentice learnt as much as possible to try and one day become the master.

 

After Palpatine killed Maul’s brother, Savage, because of the Sith “Rule of Two,” Anakin suspected the Sith Master was sleeping with both eyes open—or more probably not sleeping at all.

 

“Maul has a bunch of Force sensitive ‘Inquisitors’ hunting down any surviving Jedi,” Ahsoka continued, “I got separated from Rex getting off Mandalore, and have been dodging them ever since. Beyond that, the Imperials are going around and imposing a new ‘Imperial Law’ everywhere—which basically turns people into indentured workers on their own land to serve the Imperial war machine.”

 

“That sounds horrible,” Anakin commented.

 

“Yeah, but I think the Imperials are over playing their hand,” Ahsoka said. “Everywhere I’ve been there’s been pockets of rebellion brewing. All it’s going to take is for someone to come along and organize all the factions, and then Palpatine will have another war on his hands—and not one where he controls both sides.”

 

“Bail Organa and Mon Monthma,” Anakin said, recalling Padmé’s close allies in the Senate.

 

“That would be my guess. Neither Mon Monthma or the Organas have children or any other ties that would stop them from one day just walking away sooner than they otherwise would to raise hell against the Imperials,” she finished.

 

“Well, so far Tatooine’s been too out of the way and sparsely populated to bother occupying. So until a rebellion starts up, let’s hope it stays that way for a good while,” Anakin said.

 

 

For a while they walked along in companionable silence.

 

 

As they neared the homestead, however, Anakin abruptly remembered there were some pretty significant gaps in her knowledge.

 

“Um, Ahsoka. There’s some stuff that I never told you that you need to know,” he began what would be a very awkward conversation.

 

She stopped walking and raised an eyebrow at him expectantly.

 

“Padmé and I were actually married,” Anakin said, as he scratched the back of his neck with his free hand.

 

“Well I guess with the Order gone I’m really not surprised,” Ahsoka replied, “I bet Obi-Wan still freaked-”

 

“No, Snips you don’t understand,” Anakin corrected her sheepishly, “We were married for three years—before the Order fell.”

 

“But that would mean-” Ahsoka said, and Anakin could see her mentally doing the math.

 

“-That we were secretly married the whole time you were my padawan. Yes,” Anakin finished.

 

Ahsoka just stared at him in disbelief, both of her eyebrows now raised and traveling even further up her forehead.

 

Taking a deep breath, Anakin continued, “And there’s more-”

 

“More?!” Ahsoka interrupted.

 

“Before she died we had twins. Luke and Leia. They’re almost three now,” Anakin told her, unconsciously holding his breath as he waited for her reaction.

 

After standing in stunned silence for a moment, Ahsoka gave out a laugh.

 

“Wow. Obi-Wan must have _really_ freaked!” she exclaimed merrily.

 

“Yes, Snips. Yes he did,” Anakin said, relaxing at her acceptance and mirth.

 

 

They were almost home now.

 

As they walked past Padmé’s grave, Anakin glanced over and gratefully mumbled, “You’re cheating.”

 

He got the distinct impression of a smug smile in reply.

 

“Didn’t catch that,” Ahsoka told him.

 

“Nothing Snips,” Anakin said.

 

 

 

No sooner had they made their way down the main stairs into the open courtyard than they saw Obi-Wan bounding towards them.

 

“Look who I found,” Anakin said happily.

 

“Ahsoka?! I thought that was you I felt in the Force—but I just can’t believe you’re really here!” Obi-Wan cried, overcome with emotion as he pulled her into an embrace.

 

“Master Obi-Wan!” Ahsoka said with tears in her eyes.

 

As they broke apart, Ahsoka saw Artoo rolling towards them, with Threepio shuffling behind.

 

“Artoo-y! Threepio!” she squealed, rushing forward to greet the droids.

 

Artoo’s beeps sounded equally delighted, and Threepio exclaimed, “Mistress Ahsoka! Oh my!”

 

 

The Lars family soon heard the commotion and came to investigate.

 

Anakin saw that Beru had assumed that something had come up that needed Anakin’s immediate attention, and his kind stepsister-in-law had unquestioningly gotten the twins dressed and ready for the day.

 

Leia was in Beru’s arms, and Luke was riding with Cliegg in his hoverchair.

 

Anakin introduced Ahsoka to his stepfamily. Cliegg and Beru were gracious as always, and Owen managed to not be overtly rude.

 

“And these rascals,” Anakin paused to pick up his son, “are Luke and Leia,” he said, as Beru walked closer with his daughter.

 

“This is your Aunt Ahsoka,” he told the twins.

 

Ahsoka smiled at them.

 

The twins just looked at her shyly.

 

As they all found places to sit so they could continue talking, however, the toddlers soon insisted on being put down so they could cautiously approached her. Ahsoka slid to sit crossed legged on the ground to be more on their level, and Leia immediately climbed into her lap with Luke not far behind.

 

“I hope they’re not bothering you. I know you were found of the Younglings,” Anakin said, not following that train of thought too far, “But I don’t know how you feel about really little kids.”

 

“Why wouldn’t I like them?” Ahsoka answered, looking up at him with a smile in her huge blue eyes, “Especially since they’re yours.”

 

Something in Anakin’s chest loosened. A small smiled tugged the corner of his mouth as he watched Ahsoka let Luke and Leia climb all over her—they found her white blue-striped lekku fascinating.

 

 

Anakin was still winning his argument with Padmé . . . but he suddenly found himself on much shakier ground.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Although Owen had managed to hold it together in front of Ahsoka, his stepbrother quickly found an opportunity to pull Anakin aside and confront him about their new guest.

 

“Great, Anakin, another one of your flashy women—someone else to put us all in danger and another mouth to feed!” Owen grumbled.

 

“She’s a former Jedi, so if it ever comes to a fight she will be a huge asset,” Anakin replied, “And I promise you we won’t starve.”

 

Even then it still took Anakin promising to build yet another moisture vaporator for his stepbrother to finally calm down.

 

 

Anakin knew that Owen’s anxieties were not unfounded.

 

When it had been just the Lars family working the farm, the situation had already been difficult. Cliegg’s health was starting to fade, and while Owen worked the vaporators alone, Beru was left to care for her ailing father-in-law along with keeping the house and feeding the three of them.

 

When the fugitives arrived some things had changed for the better. Obi-Wan had stepped in as companion and caregiver for Cliegg, who was becoming too immobile for Beru to safely help transfer in and out of his hoverchair. This, however, just freed her up to help care for the two infants, while Anakin and Owen threw themselves into working the farm.

 

Although the work force was now doubled, along with the extra help the droids could provide, the farm now had to produce enough water to both supply and trade for food and necessities for seven people instead of three—all in addition to paying the Hutt water tax.

 

Even with the stepbrothers working flat out, production was always tight, and life on the moisture farm felt like an endless battle for survival.

 

They all worked themselves to the bone. Although Beru managed to keep going no matter what, every once in a while one of the men would briefly crash—but have to get back up and back to work as quickly as possible to ease the burden on the others who had temporarily picked up the slack.

 

Hiding the new occupants on the Lars homestead was yet another source of strain. Fearing discovery, Anakin and Obi-Wan never went into town. Beyond that, the family agreed that it was best if they started delivering water to all of their customers—even to the ones who used to pick it up—which was a task that fell solely onto Owen’s overworked shoulders.

 

 

Although he was overjoyed to see his former padawan, Anakin agreed that feeding and watering yet another person initially did indeed feel daunting. Contrary to Owen’s dire predictions, however, Ahsoka’s presence immediately made life easier and better for everyone.

 

For Beru, it was a great blessing to have another woman as companion, and one more adult to help out with Luke and Leia—who managed to find new and creative ways to get into trouble, even with her, Obi-Wan, and Cliegg watching them.

 

In addition, with Obi-Wan helping her father-in-law and Ahsoka now there to take a turn keeping an eye on the twins, Beru felt free to join her husband on water delivery runs. This effectively transformed work Owen resented into precious time alone with is wife.

 

Ahsoka also spent at least part of the day helping work the farm. Owen was surprised how good a mechanic Ahsoka was. Having trained her himself, Anakin wasn’t.

 

With her help the promised vaporator was done in much less time than Anakin had anticipated. The extra water production soon provided some breathing room in their bottom line, and it no longer felt like they were barely getting by.

 

As a Torgarian, furthermore, Ahsoka was a naturally gifted hunter. After the first time she and Anakin arrived back to the homestead with a freshly killed wild eopie in tow—quite a delicacy for which they did not have to trade water—Owen made no further comment about her presence draining the family resources.

 

 

With the extra help, the daily tasks on the farm no longer took from sun up to sun down. Having time in the evenings to actually relax and spend time together made everyone feel that they were living and no longer just subsisting.

 

Anakin was also now able to spend more time with the twins in the evenings before bedtime, much to all three’s delight. Contrary to his conviction that his children were better off without him, the improvement Luke and Leia’s behavior and overall sense of well-being with his increased presence was immediately noticeable.

 

Beyond that, Ahsoka’s vivacious nature, merry laugh, and bright spirit lightened the mood on the homestead. The sense of companionable fellowship that resultantly began to pervade the farm was welcome to everyone, and it eased Cliegg’s aging heart to see his family thriving once again.

 

Obi-Wan too benefited from Ahsoka walking back into their lives. Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan had once been quite a force to be reckoned with. Having their trio intact once again made the Jedi Master feel less broken by all the other losses he had endured.

 

 

No one, however, benefited more from Ahsoka’s presence than Anakin, and he regularly marveled at how dramatically his life changed with the arrival of his beloved former padawan.

 

With increasing frequency he awoke in the morning to find that Ahsoka had snuck into his room and fished out the twins so he could sleep longer. How she was pulling it off without waking him Anakin could only explain as the mystery that was Ahsoka. He began to suspect, however, that she was touching his mind through the Force in a way that put him into a deeper sleep, with the result that he now frequently awoke past dawn.

 

Although he was still plagued by nightmares, Anakin found that getting a few hours of actual restful sleep significantly lessened the fatigue that had been his constant companion over the last few years. It also resulted in him no longer starting every single day weeping in front of Padmé’s grave.

 

Since his return to Tatooine, Anakin had also been weighed down by a deep weariness of spirit. Although only twenty-six, after all he had seen, done, and lost Anakin felt about seventy. And when he didn’t feel seventy—as a widower father of two, working a job he hated so his family could survive—Anakin felt on par with forty-year-old Obi-Wan.

 

Ahsoka, however, found ways to recall him to himself. Anakin was not a farmer by nature, and never would be. Neither was Ahsoka, and the hunts she started periodically taking him on were as much an opportunity for them to enjoy themselves in the thrill of the chase, as it was to ease the family’s stress about food.

 

Her very presence itself also seemed to soothe Anakin’s deep weariness. Ahsoka brought out his younger, more fun loving side, and Anakin even found himself laughing again.

 

 

 

For all the ways she was a blessing, however, it did not take Ahsoka being with them for more than a few weeks before Anakin had to accept that her arrival had also created a new gigantic problem for him.

 

He had not seen her for a few years, and the Ahsoka that walked out of the desert and back into his life was all grown up.

 

 

And was now extremely pretty.

 

 

This led to a series of conversations with his reflection in the freshner mirror that Anakin sensed had no end in sight.

 

“She's your padawan— _your_ _padawan_.”

 

_“Well actually she hasn’t been your padawan in quite some time.”_

 

“She’s just a kid.”

 

_“Not so much anymore, which is why you are having this conversation with yourself in the first place.”_

 

“You’re too old for her.”

 

_“You’re only five years older than her . . . the same age gap as you and Padmé.”_

 

“You’re a monster. She wouldn’t even be here if she knew what you’ve done. She was lucky to leave you when she did. All you will do is hurt her, and destroy her with the dark side. AND YOU NEVER DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AGAIN!”

 

_“. . .”_

 

 

And there it was. The irrefutable trump card.

 

 

Even still Anakin was having an increasingly difficult time keeping his eyes off her. Some days he was more successful than others.

 

On one particularly bad day, Anakin was unable to stop his gaze from lingering on Ahsoka’s retreating form quite a few heartbeats too long. When he finally tore his eyes away they fell instead on Obi-Wan looking intensely at him with raised eyebrows.

 

“Anakin . . .” Obi-Wan said in his most chiding voice.

 

“I’m trying. I really am. It won’t go away and I don’t know what to do,” Anakin replied, a whiny tone from years gone by making a reappearance.

 

“Anakin, I truly don’t know how you get yourself into these situations,” Obi-Wan said, rising to his feet and himself walking away, “And since both of you have always done exactly as you pleased regardless of what I or anyone else had to say about it, I expect in this it will be no different.”

 

“You’re no help!” Anakin shouted after him, at a loss as to whether he should take Obi-Wan’s words as outright disapproval or resigned encouragement.

 

 

Anakin knew he needed to get it together—and fast—as with their strong bond in the Force she was going to start noticing and become uncomfortable.

 

So he redoubled his desperate efforts to squash and hide his feelings.

 

Anakin found, however, that his attraction to Ahsoka was only getting stronger no matter what he did, and eventually she couldn’t help but start to notice.

 

 

But it didn’t make her uncomfortable, as Anakin had feared.

 

 

No, something infinitely worse happened . . .

 

 

Ahsoka began to reciprocate his feelings.

 

 

He could see it in her eyes and read it all over her Force sense. Her growing attraction combined with her preexisting love and respect would radiate off her in waves through the Force that washed over him.

 

Their effect was to intensify his own feelings, which Anakin found he was powerless to stop from sending back to her in the same manner.

 

Anakin knew they could not go on like this forever, but was still at a loss for what to do.

 

 

Finally, things came to a head one evening while Anakin was standing outside the homestead in the evening twilight. He was trying to catch his breath after a particularly exhausting day, when he sensed Ahsoka coming up behind him.

 

. . . with resolve to finally say something.

 

Anakin braced himself, but no words immediately came from her.

 

Instead he felt Ahsoka wrap her arms around him, with one hand landing on his stomach and the other snaking up his chest. Pulling herself flush against him, she buried her face into his back.

 

For a brief moment Anakin closed his eyes and sank into her embrace.

 

 

But for Ahsoka he found the strength to do what needed to be done to protect her . . . even from himself.

 

 

“Ahsoka, don’t do this,” Anakin half commanded, half begged.

 

She made no move to release him, and he finally pealed her hands off and turned to face her.

 

“ . . . please,” Anakin said.

 

“I don’t understand,” Ahsoka said, hurt written across her face.

 

Given his behavior and all the signals he’d been sending out, Anakin knew she had a right to be confused and upset.

 

“We can’t do this, Snips,” Anakin told her, trying to stay calm and lessen the blow.

 

“Why not?!” she replied, refusing to match his tone or acquiesce.

 

“If you knew who I really am you’d know you need to stay away from me,” Anakin countered, his composure rapidly deteriorating.

 

“Anakin, what are you talking about?!” Ahsoka shot back, “Of course I know who you-”

 

“No you don’t!” Anakin snapped at her.

 

With Ahsoka stunned into silence, Anakin continued on with his disillusioning lesson.

 

“You remember all the dark stuff that started happening near the end—the things I did that scared you? You think that changed after you left, Ahsoka? Huh?” he asked aggressively, “It only got worse until I became an absolute monster— _that’s_ who I am.”

 

“That’s not true!” Ahsoka found her voice again and yelled back.

 

“YES IT IS!” Anakin roared.

 

Ahsoka flinched and took a step backwards.

 

“You want to know where I was during the Jedi Purge, Ahsoka?” Anakin said, following her and leaning into her space—refusing to let her run away from the horrifying truth.

 

“I was taking a knee to Palpatine, pledging myself as his new Sith apprentice—Darth Vader. After that I marched a legion of zombified Clones to the Jedi Temple, where we razed it and killed all the Jedi inside—and where I personally slaughtered all the Younglings. Then Palpatine sent me to Mustafar to end the Clone Wars by murdering all of the Separatists leaders as payment for their dutiful service.”

 

As he spoke Ahsoka’s eyes grew wide and her face paled. When he finished, she looked up at him with a new wariness in her eyes.

 

She had never looked at him like that before. Anakin finally could not bear it and turned away.

 

“It’s all true, Ahsoka,” his said in a trembling voice, “I should be dead . . . and you should never have come here.”

 

For a heartbeat neither of them spoke.

 

Still Ahsoka made no move to walk away, and Anakin finally gave her a push.

 

“LEAVE!” Anakin screamed at her, “Like you did before!”

 

From behind him Ahsoka let out a huge sob, and Anakin had the satisfaction of feeling even more horrible as she ran away in tears.

 

 

 

In that moment, all Anakin wanted was to be alone . . . so of course Obi-Wan came looking for him.

 

“Anakin, why is Ahsoka crying?” Obi-Wan confronted him.

 

“Because I told her the Truth!” Anakin yelled, himself starting to cry.

 

A profoundly sadness came over Obi-Wan’s face, and he did not reply.

 

“She’s crying because she finally sees what an irredeemable monster I am. The Jedi, Padmé, and so many others are all dead, the galaxy is a mess, and it’s all my fault!”

 

“Anakin, it is not your fault!” Obi-Wan told him.

 

“Yeah, well then whose fault is it?!” Anakin screamed, “And don’t you dare say Palpatine! I knew what I was doing-”

 

“IT WAS MY FAULT!” Obi-Wan bellowed, “MINE!”

 

Even with his emotions raging out of control, Anakin was stunned speechless.

 

“You were _my_ responsibility, Anakin. And I didn’t protect you. Palpatine spent years grooming you for this, and I didn’t protect you . . .” Obi-Wan said, his voice full of deep sorrow.

 

“He didn’t!” Anakin replied defensively.

 

“With everything that’s happened what else would you call the special interest he took in you?” Obi-Wan countered.

 

Anakin remained mute.

 

“Tell me what happened with Palpatine, Anakin—starting with Dooku. You’ve always refused to give me any details.”

 

Anakin thought about refusing, but instead took a deep breath and gave Obi-Wan the answer he wanted.

 

“While we were rescuing the Chancellor, after Dooku knocked you unconscious I finally managed to disarm him. I had him at my mercy and Palpatine suddenly told me to kill him. I didn’t want to execute an unarmed prisoner, but Palpatine kept telling me all the reasons I couldn’t leave Dooku alive. He finally commanded me to ‘do it’ in a voice I’d never heard before—and I reflexively obeyed. I slit Dooku’s throat with both his and my lightsaber. Immediately I regretted it, but it was too late to take it back,” Anakin said, refusing to look at Obi-Wan.

 

“Then Palpatine ordered me to leave you behind, but I refused. We got back to Coruscant, and it was later that same day that Padmé told me she was pregnant,” Anakin continued, becoming choked up at the end.

 

“Soon after that I started having dreams of Padmé dying like the ones I had before my mother died. I told Master Yoda about them, but he told me I shouldn’t care. But Palpatine seemed to somehow know about my dreams, and told me a Sith legend that there was a way to stop people from dying,” Anakin said, starting to cry harder.

 

“Then the Jedi and the Chancellor both wanted me to spy for them—I didn’t know what to believe anymore. The Council didn’t trust me, and the Chancellor kept pointing that out—and telling me he did. I felt like I was being ripped apart.”

 

“When I went to tell him that you had found General Grievous, he took me into part of his office I’d never been in before, that had all this strange artwork—Sith artwork. He offered to teach me about the dark side so I could become powerful enough to save Padmé. I realized then he was the Sith Lord we’d been looking for. I seriously thought about killing him then and there, but after Dooku I didn’t want to execute someone again,” Anakin continued.

 

“With you and Master Yoda off planet, I told Master Windu what I’d learnt—but he wouldn’t let me come and help arrest Palpatine. He told me to wait in the Council Chamber, and I knew he was planning to make me a Master when he got back. But then I realized I wanted my family more than I wanted to be a Master,” he said through growing sobs.

 

“I went back the Chancellor’s office not sure what I would do, and walked in on Master Windu about to execute Palpatine. I told him to stop and that it was against the Jedi Code, but he gave me all the same reasons Palpatine had given me why Dooku had to be killed. Palpatine was lying on the ground looking helpless and begging for my help. He told me if he died I would never be able to save Padmé. I stopped Master Windu from killing the Chancellor, but as soon as I did Palpatine stopped pretending to be helpless and killed Master Windu.”

 

“I was horrified, but eventually I told him I had to save Padmé no matter what the cost. He promised to help me in exchange for my service—and I paid. But once I pledged myself to his teaching the dark side took over—good and evil, right and wrong—it all seemed flipped. He said he needed my help to stop the Jedi from overthrowing the Senate and killing all the Senators—killing Padmé. And to do that I had to kill all the Jedi and the Separatists. Everything I did seemed so right, so clear at the time. But afterwards I felt horrible—but again it was too late to take back.”

 

“I know he was lying and his promises were empty, but part of me still believes if I had gone back to him that Padmé would still be alive,” Anakin finished, barely managing to get the words out.

 

For a moment neither of them said anything.

 

Then Obi-Wan moved to stand in front of his former padawan, and reached out to cupped the side of Anakin’s head with his hand. It felt fatherly and consoling, and Anakin finally looked up to meet his mentor’s eyes.

 

“Oh Anakin. I am so sorry. Will you please forgive me, Anakin—for everything,” Obi-Wan asked, with more emotion than Anakin had ever heard in his friend’s voice.

 

Anakin nodded.

 

“And will you please forgive yourself,” Obi-Wan continued.

 

Anakin made no reply, but sank to his knees and began to weep uncontrollably.

 

Obi-Wan dropped down in front of him, and embraced him. Anakin buried his face into Obi-Wan’s chest and let the closest person he had to a father hold him as cried harder than he ever had before.

 

Anakin did not know how long he wept for, but to him if felt like hours. Finally, however, he seemed to be out of tears and he pulled away from Obi-Wan.

 

“I need to stay out here for a little longer,” Anakin told him.

 

Obi-Wan just nodded. After again caressing Anakin’s head, he returned to inside and let Anakin be.

 

 

 

The temperature turned cooler, and Anakin was glad he had brought his cloak.

 

It was moonless night, leaving only starlight to see by. But without the light pollution of a planet like Coruscant, so many of them were visible.

 

The stars he used to travel among were breathtakingly beautiful, and for a while Anakin just sat and looked at the night sky, recovering from the intense emotional catharsis he had just undergone.

 

 

Eventually his mind turned back to Ahsoka.

 

For once Anakin was grateful that Tatooine was not an easy planet to leave. It gave him time to apologize to Ahsoka and talk her into staying . . . he refused to consider the alternative.

 

At the same time, after he yelled at her and roughly rejected her, Anakin expected Ahsoka would keep her distance for at least the rest of the night, if not considerably longer.

 

She had only ever listened to him when she actually wanted to, however, and in that she had not changed. Not long after Obi-Wan left him, he felt her Force sense reapproaching.

 

“Do you want to be alone?” she asked him.

 

“No, it’s okay Snips,” he said before looking at the ground. Unable to look her in the eye he continued, “I’m sorry I yelled and hurt you.”

 

Anakin knew his eyes were red from so much crying, but hoped it wasn’t visible in the low light—although since it was Ahsoka she would likely be able to tell anyway.

 

Ahsoka sat down in the sand next to him but left more space between them than usual. For a moment neither of them spoke.

 

“When the Clones turned on me it was awful. Men I’d fought with and trusted for years suddenly were mindless drones. Killing them to defend myself was terrible, but even worse was watching what it did to Rex to have to kill his brothers to protect me,” Aksoka told him.

 

“I was always worried that you had been killed by the Clones,” Ahsoka continued, “It never crossed my mind that you’d been brainwashed like them instead.”

 

From her tone, she clearly considered it a far worse fate than death.

 

Anakin sensed she was still horrified—but was now also full of compassion, and none of the blame he expected.

 

“So it really was almost you running around as Palpatine's lieutenant instead of Maul?” Ashoka asked.

 

“Yes,” he answered again unable to meet her gaze.

 

“Wow,” Ahsoka told him in a stunned tone of voice, “You would have done a better job than Maul is doing.”

 

“Gee, thanks Ahsoka. It’s deeply gratifying to know you think I would make a badass Sith Lord,” Anakin replied sarcastically, his eyes snapping to hers in anger.

 

“I mean you would do a better job at anything than Maul,” Ahsoka corrected.

 

Anakin was actually not going to disagree with her on that one.

 

“Seriously, Anakin,” she continued, “With your tactical skills . . . things are bad now . . . but if it was you instead of Maul the galaxy would be really screwed.”

 

“I know,” Anakin finally said his voice quiet, “It’s one of the reasons I’m staying here amidst the sea of sand,” he added with a sweeping motion of his arm. “The best thing I can do at this point is stay out of it.”

 

Ahsoka offered no argument, and they sat in silence for a few more minutes.

 

 

“How did it end up not being you?” she finally asked.

 

A memory suddenly flashed into Anakin’s mind.

 

_“Anakin, you are my brother and I love you! We both love you! Don’t go back to Palpatine! Come with us!”_

 

“Padmé and Obi-Wan showed up on Mustafar, and cared more about me not going back to Palpatine than all the terrible things I’d done. I went with them and was able to clear my head,” Anakin told her.

 

“I think if Obi-Wan had come as a Jedi to get revenge and stop me instead of as my brother that situation would have ended really badly,” Anakin reflected.

 

For perhaps the first time he contemplated that while he was never going to be happy ever again, there was a version of events where he likely would have ended up being even more miserable for the rest of his life.

 

“If I had been there I would have gone with them to get you back,” Ahsoka told him.

 

“I know,” Anakin said.

 

 

They lapsed into silence once more, until Ahsoka again broke it.

 

 

“Do you really want me to leave?” she finally asked in a small voice.

 

“No Snips,” Anakin told her forcefully, “I was upset and I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay Skyguy,” Ahsoka answered, her voice again filled with its usual brash confidence as she curled up against him and rested her head on his shoulder, “I’m never leaving you again anyway, no matter what you say.”

 

He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

 

She looked up at him and gave him a cocky smile. From her sense in the Force Anakin could tell she was dead serious.

 

 

Anakin looked away and stared straight ahead into the starry night above the horizon.

 

“The truth is, Snips, I’m way too happy you’re here,” Anakin finally told her.

 

Ahsoka shifted and rose up on her knees so she could see into his eyes even in the low light. For once he did not hide the longing that he’d been trying unsuccessfully to cover up for months.

 

She met his gaze with equal intensity.

 

“Me too,” she told him, and reached a hand up to caress his face.

 

Ahsoka leaned closer and brushed a tentative kiss across his lips, before pulling away and looking at him.

 

Anakin returned her gaze for a heartbeat before chasing her lips with his own.

 

There was nothing tentative about his kiss, and he drew Ahsoka closer until she was flush against him and sitting in his lap.

 

Anakin was suddenly seized by an intense desire to throw his cloak down onto the sand he hated to so much, toss Ahsoka on top of it, and then rip her clothes off.

 

If anyone else had ever done such a thing to her, however, Anakin would have genuinely considered murdering them—and beating them to a bloody pulp would have required no thought or deliberation whatsoever.

 

Not planning on holding himself to a lower standard where Ahsoka was concerned, Anakin broke away. He rested his forehead against hers and brushed his thumb across her cheek as he caught his breath.

 

“We should get back inside,” he finally told her.

 

“Probably a good idea,” she agreed.

 

 

Anakin rose, and helped Ahsoka to her feet. He ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to tame it from the wild mess Ahsoka had turned it into, as she readjusted her clothes until they were on straight.

 

Confident that they were as presentable as they were going to get before facing Obi-Wan, the pair wrapped their arms around each other and headed inside.

 

 

They were half way back to the homestead when Anakin decided that, while he wasn’t going to ravish her on the ground, there was also little point delaying another move forward.

 

He abruptly stopped, and taking both her hands in his, dropped to his knees.

 

“Ahsoka, will you marry me?” Anakin asked, looking up into her face in the dim starlight.

 

She smiled down at him.

 

“Yes, Anakin. I will.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! And thank you for the comments and kudos. They are much appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin impetuously jumped into his first marriage to Padmé after only a few days.
> 
> This time around he is more mature, and waits a whole week.

 

Morning light was flittering through the cracks in the window shade as Anakin opened his eyes. He let his gaze follow the bright rays that reflected off the ceiling as he contemplated the recent turn his life had taken.

 

Having reached a new understanding, Anakin and Ahsoka had returned to the homestead to find, as expected, a Jedi Master waiting up for them.

 

“Ahsoka and I want to get married,” Anakin announced to Obi-Wan.

 

“Do you think that’s a decision you should be making tonight?” Obi-Wan asked in an even tone designed not to set Anakin off.

 

“We’re not getting married in the next five minutes,” Anakin countered, “And at this point it’s been a long time coming.”

 

“Well then let me be the first to offer my congratulations,” Obi-Wan said a bit sardonically and without smiling.

 

The Jedi Master’s prudent counsel against haste and rash decision making, however, was undercut by the sense of approval coming from Padmé so strongly that Anakin could feel it even this far away from her grave.   The combined impetuousness of Anakin, Ahsoka, and Padmé resultantly overwhelmed Obi-Wan’s rationality.

 

 

True to his word, however, Anakin and Ahsoka had not gotten married in the next five minutes.

 

They had waited an entire week.

 

Which, Anakin reflected, was still longer than he and Padmé had waited.

 

By that point Obi-Wan had adjusted to the idea enough to agree to officiate their wedding—a wedding that was not secret, and witnessed by Obi-Wan, the twins, Anakin’s stepfamily, and not just Artoo and Threepio.

 

 

_Ah, sort of progress._

 

 

With Beru generously watching Luke and Leia, Obi-Wan had packed Anakin and Ahsoka off to his meditation hut for their honeymoon.

 

It was really Obi-Wan’s “Anakin, I can’t stand being around you, your rambunctious children, or your relatives with their noisy vaporators for another minute, and need to be by myself for the next several days” hut. Anakin had helped his mentor build it, and the younger man really did not like to impose on Obi-Wan’s space and privacy.

 

Obi-Wan had ended Anakin’s protestations, however, by declaring, “Anakin, I am not sleeping under the same roof as the two of you on your wedding night—Go!”

 

Which was how Anakin found himself waking up to light playing across the ceiling and Ahsoka draped on top of him still deep in slumber.

 

 

Last night had been decidedly . . . different.

 

Although less common than Human-Twi'lek matches, Humans pairing off with Togrutas was not unheard of. Even so Anakin had not been sure what exactly he and Ahsoka were getting themselves into.

 

Married to Padmé for several years, Anakin was by no means inexperienced. On the one hand he was relieved that in general the mechanics of intimacy with his new wife were the same as with his previous one. On the other, his first introduction into Togrutan mating habits was a distinct reminder that they were a species of carnivorous lothcat-like humanoids, and for them there was apparently a fair amount nipping and biting involved. Ahsoka’s teeth were pretty sharp, and Anakin was amazed that only one of her bites had broken his skin. He was even more surprised that he had not minded . . . in the slightest. The noises that poured out of her were also distinctively feline, and in sleep she was now purring quite loudly.

 

 

Anakin could also not help but be struck that his situation with Ahsoka was a complete flip of what he had had with Padmé.

 

He had met Padmé as a child. For the next ten years he adored and idolized her from afar based on the limited information he had from a few days, and filled in the gaps with his imagination. He did not really know her any better when they decided to get married after another intense few days together, and Anakin quickly came to realized that one of the tasks that faced him was knitting together the “idea of Padmé” he had created in his mind with the real one. Over the course of their marriage, Anakin found his imagination had gotten a decent amount right, quite a few things wrong—and when it was all over there was a lot to which he had never gotten an answer.

 

Under other circumstances, Anakin knew, he would have come to know most of the answers to the question of who Padmé really was, and vice versa, and with a considerable amount of work their marriage would have been fine. But they had married in secret, and spent much of their time and energy hiding their relationship instead of growing in it. On top of that there had been a war on, which meant Anakin was never home. And since when he was there was a high likelihood they would get into a fight, it was usually easier to just . . . not talk.

 

With physical intimacy the main foundational element of their marriage far beyond what was healthy, Anakin was resultantly well versed in Padmé’s physical preferences even though there was a lot of very basic ways he did not really know or understand his spouse.

 

 

With Ahsoka the situation was the complete opposite.

 

All that time he was away from home and Padmé was spent on the front lines with his men and the other Jedi—mostly Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. And since her training and growth as a Force user had been his responsibility, a considerable amount of his at the time disinterested attention and focus had been on her.

 

He knew her growing strengths, her weaknesses that matched many of his own, what she was afraid of, and what made her laugh. While he did his best to appropriately hide his problems from her, they spent so much time together that particularly as she grew older it was impossible for her to not see in him the good, the bad, and at the time the increasingly ugly.

 

They had been through a lot together—the intensity of battle, numerous threats to one or both of their lives, and seen both the bizarre and the beautiful throughout their travels across the galaxy. Through it all they had forged an incredible bond in the Force. Besides Obi-Wan, there really wasn’t anyone who knew Anakin better or to whom he was closer than Ahsoka, no matter what he’d tried to convince her of the previous week.

 

Her alien body, however, he knew nothing about. It was strange and mysterious-

 

 

Anakin’s meandering thoughts were abruptly interrupted as he looked down into a pair of wide-awake blue eyes—currently looking intensely hurt.

 

Beyond the realization that Ahsoka had woken up without him noticing while he was lost in thought—thanks to their intense bond in the Force and him not bothering to put up any mental barriers while he thought she was asleep—Anakin was pretty sure she was well aware of what he had been thinking.

 

“Do you find me strange?” Ahsoka asked him point blank before adding, “Do you wish I was human like Padmé?”

 

_Keff._

 

Anakin now found himself faced with the task of honestly articulating his thoughts and feeling without hurting hers—another skill he had gotten away with not developing while married to Padmé—to a woman who could tell to a high degree of nuance just how honest he was being.

 

Taking a deep breath, he launched into a reply.

 

“No, Ahsoka, I don’t find you strange—just different,” Anakin hastily began.

 

She continued to stare at him emitting a sense of wounded disbelief.

 

“Look Snips. Padmé and I loved each other very much and I miss her, but we had a lot of problems. We barely knew each other when we got married, and I had trouble understanding her—especially with being on the front lines so much,” he told her.

 

Briefly looking back up at the ceiling, Anakin then admitted something he had never said out loud before.

 

“And Padmé wasn’t Force sensitive. So no matter how much I wanted to bond with her that way, it was never going to happen,” Anakin said.

 

Seeing he had Ahsoka’s attention, he continued.

 

“You and I do have that kind of connection in the Force, Ahsoka. And we’ve spent more time together and in a lot of ways already know each other better than Padmé and I did over the course of our entire marriage,” he said.

 

He sensed her coiled spring of defensiveness was beginning to relax somewhat, but the cautiousness in her eyes lingered.

 

“At the same time, I don’t know anything about your body. Given that I’m not a Togruta and we’ve been married for less than a day, I hope you’ll agree that that’s not especially surprising. It’s something you’re going to have to teach me, and I’m going to have to learn. That’s all that I was thinking about, Snips,” he finished.

 

Anakin was relieved to feel her accept his explanation and relax back down onto his chest.

 

They exchanged small smiles, as Anakin traced the marking on her face with his thumb.

 

“May I?” he asked.

 

Ahsoka nodded, and Anakin began to run his hand over one of her hornlike montrals.

 

She seemed to take this as an invitation to run her fingers through his hair, which to Anakin was quite welcome. Ahsoka also began licking his chest with her rough lothcat-like tongue, before gently gnawing on one of his collarbones in a way that Anakin found was unexpectedly pleasant.

 

Anakin ran his hand over her montrals, before moving to slowly run it down her lekku, all the while monitoring her sense through the Force and filing information away for later.

 

 

One thing Anakin had already picked up on loud and clear the previous night was her opinion of his artificial right hand.

 

Padmé had not minded it—just like she had not minded a lot of things that in hindsight she should have found concerning.

 

While Ahsoka gave it little thought during combat or under other circumstances, Anakin could tell that in this context she did not like it at all, and he adjusted his caresses to come from his intact left hand.

 

Given the path it represented that he had walked down almost to the point of no return, he really could not blame her.

 

There was still darkness in him, which both of them could sense. Anakin knew that Ahsoka would not ignore it as Padmé had done. Gone also was the padawan who did not know what to do in the face of her master’s troubling actions when really angry. While Ahsoka was not demanding perfection before she would be with him, Anakin knew she expected change, and that he would make every effort to always be walking towards the Light.

 

That he could do.

 

 

As he slipped his hand under her third lek and began rubbing her back, Ahsoka abruptly melted into him. She stopped nibbling his collarbone, her hand fell away from his hair, and as she began to purr loudly Anakin could sense she was drifting back to sleep.

 

“That feels nice, Master,” Ahsoka murmured.

 

Anakin froze.

 

“What?” she said sleepily.

 

“Ahsoka, you _cannot_ call me that anymore,” Anakin told her.

 

She pillowed her head on her forearms so she could look him in the eye.

 

“Why? It’s just out of habit—that’s been one of your names for years,” Ahsoka replied.

 

“Because it makes me feel like a dirty old man, who married his daughter,” Anakin told her forcefully.

 

Ahsoka just looked at him for a moment before she began to laugh in the way she always did when she thought he was being ridiculous. He knew that laugh well.

 

“Anakin, you’re twenty-six-years-old, and you’re not my father,” she told him.

 

“Yeah, but you were my padawan, and it felt like I was for years,” Anakin countered.

 

“I will agree you felt way older than me back then,” Ahsoka answered, “I guess that’s what happens when the Jedi pair a fourteen-year-old youngling”—Anakin flashed her a _“You said it not me”_ look—“with a nineteen-year-old, secretly married, full-fledged Jedi Knight.”

 

On the one hand Anakin was relieved to be finally getting all of this off his chest. On the other he wished he’d picked a less awkward time to have this conversation than when Ahsoka was draped all over it.

 

“But I haven’t been fourteen for a _really_ long time, and somehow you don’t feel older than me anymore,” Ahsoka continued, “Does it feel like you still are to you?”

 

“No, Snips,” Anakin replied, running a hand over his face, “It actually doesn’t. This is just taking some serious getting used to, and keeps hitting me in waves.”

 

Ahsoka just laughed again, and kissed him on the chin.

 

 

Anakin look up at the ceiling, before looking back at her.

 

_Well since they were being honest._

 

“Did you know back then? About me and Padmé being together?” Anakin asked the question he had wondered about for years.

 

“Did I know you and Padmé liked each other, and that you had an inappropriate for a Jedi attachment to her, just like you did for Obi-Wan, me, and the droids? . . . Yes,” Ahsoka answered.

 

“Did I know you were romantically involved and secretly _married_? . . . No way!” she continued, “You couldn’t hide your feelings completely, but you definitely kept that under wraps! And as often as we blew off the Council, it never crossed my mind that you were capable of disobeying the Code _that_ much.”

 

Anakin was suddenly filled with a deep sense of remorse.

 

“I’m sorry that I lied to you, Snips,” Anakin told her quietly.

 

“It’s okay. I understand why you did it,” she answered.

 

“It still doesn’t make it right,” Anakin countered before adding, “In a lot of ways my marriage to Padmé and keeping it a secret brought out the worst in me. Combine that with my dysfunctional relationship with the Council, and I think the dark side had a good toe hold on me long before I fell.”

 

Ahsoka remained silent as she listened to him.

 

“Looking back, I think the only thing that made me mature or grow in any positive way was teaching and taking care of you,” Anakin told her, tracing the marking around her eyes and down her cheeks with his fingertips.

 

“You were a really good master, Anakin. I don’t think I would have made it with anyone else,” Ahsoka said, “But I also didn’t I realized how many problems you were shielding me from. Maybe if I had stayed in the Order-”

 

“No Snips,” Anakin interrupted, “You were just a kid and my responsibility. It would have been completely wrong for me to burden or lean on you that way. And you left for good and healthy reasons . . . I really should have followed you.”

 

“The only reason I saw that, despite telling me I was family, I wasn’t getting unconditional love and support from the Jedi, was because I was getting it from you,” Ahsoka responded, herself reaching a hand up to caress his cheek.

 

“I still can’t help but feel I should have done something more to help you, even after I left, maybe then-“

 

“No Ahsoka. The dark side was tainting everything by that point,” Anakin said with sadness, “There was nothing you could have done, even if I had let you try and help me. I was drowning, and would have just pulled you under with me.”

 

Her only reply was to continue gently stroking his face.

 

“Actually, most of the time I still feel like I’m drowning,” he admitted.

 

“Will you let me help you now?” Ahsoka asked.

 

“Yes,” Anakin said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, and for all the kudos and comments. All very appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

 

Standing on his usual mound of sand as he looked out at the desert awash in the glow of the evening light, Anakin had to admit that tonight it almost looked pretty.

 

His attention soon shifted from the light surrounding him to the light within, and Anakin had to admit that he could not recall being this much in the Light since he was a child—maybe ever.

 

Although still filled with hard work, his days were also filled with joy and laughter. At night his sleep was peaceful. After his epic emotional meltdown, his nightmares had greatly subsided until they were almost gone. For the remaining ones, Ahsoka was now there to console him and sooth him back to sleep.

 

Anakin also no longer felt that he could not live without Padmé. He was able to think back on the good things about their marriage, while leaving behind his all-consuming grief. Moreover, as much as Padmé would always be his first love and hold a special place in his heart, Anakin had to admit that his relationship with his second wife was much healthier, more balanced, and overall just better than it had been with his first.

 

 

Even Obi-Wan had noticed the dramatic change in the younger man. The Jedi Master had eventually come around to the fact that this was due almost entirely to Anakin’s marriage to Ahsoka, and had finally given them his actual blessing.

 

The arrival of the latest addition to the Skywalker clan had also helped quit a bit in winning over Obi-Wan. Baby Rex was incredibly cute, and cheered the Jedi Master from even the grumpiest of moods.

 

In facial features, Baby Rex took after his father. However, he had his mother’s orange skin and white facial markings, along with blue eyes—it would have been a surprise if they were any other color. Both his parents were curious to find out whether or not he would arrive with lekku like some of the mixed species Twi'lek children they had seen during their travels. But Baby Rex had been born with hair—white streaked with blue.

 

_Oh well, maybe next time._

 

 

Luke and Leia absolutely adored their baby brother, and their affection for their stepmother was not far behind.

 

In hindsight, Anakin would not have missed raising his children for anything in the galaxy. He was very happy, however, to have Ahsoka’s help especially since they were Force sensitive.

 

As Ahoska stepped more fully into the role of mother for the twins, Anakin had initially worried about Beru. His gentle and kind stepsister-in-law had been indispensible when Luke and Leia were babies, and Anakin knew he would never be able to express his gratitude or repay her for even a fraction for what she had done for his children. He, therefore, did not want Beru to feel he was ungrateful for all her care, or that the children were being taken away from her. Much to Anakin’s relief the situation had resolved itself naturally when Owen and Beru were blessed with their own child.

 

 

Anakin did not know where the time was going.

 

As he looked down at Baby Rex sleeping peacefully in his arms, Anakin was amazed at how rapidly he was getting bigger.

 

And today the twins turned _five_.

 

In honor of their birthday, Luke and Leia were being allowed to stay up late and watch the sunset.

 

From behind him he heard the rest of his growing family approaching, and Anakin turned to watch Ahsoka trudging through the sand, a twin’s hand in each of hers.

 

When they reached him, Anakin carefully passed the sleeping Rex to Ahsoka before giving her a lingering kiss. They exchanged warm smiles as they broke apart, before Anakin’s attention was quickly claimed by his children.

 

“Dad, can I start helping with the vaporators? Do you think I’m old enough now? Please say ‘yes.’” Luke verbally launched into his father.

 

“I’m sure that can be arranged, Buddy,” Anakin told his older son, reaching out a hand and brushing Luke’s too long bangs from out of his eyes. “It will make your Uncle Owen very happy to hear you asked that.”

 

With his sandy blond hair and blue eyes, Luke resembled Anakin as a boy. His father could also tell he would be quite strong in the Force. Beyond that, Luke would likely make a great pilot. While space flight would have to wait as long as Palpatine ruled the galaxy, Anakin planned to get his son onto a speederbike sooner rather than later.

 

For now, however, Luke was apparently excited about being a moisture farmer.

 

After slogging through the sand, Threepio and Artoo finally reached them, and Luke turned to the two droids and excitedly told them, “Guess what?! I get to help with the vaporators!”

 

“Such wonderful news, Master Luke,” Threepio replied indulgently, and Artoo added his own series of beeps to the conversation.

 

 

Anakin chuckled before turning his attention to his daughter.

 

While Luke could get a bit whiny at times, he was otherwise a very sweet boy.

 

Leia was another story entirely.

 

Although not as strong in the Force as her brother, Anakin could tell that his daughter was as least partially Force sensitive. Leia, however, was still deciding how strong in the Force she wanted to be. Anakin would previously have thought such a thing was not possible, but Leia was so strong willed that appeared to be the case for her. The more time she was around him and now Ahsoka, however, it appeared to be something to which she was becoming more open.

 

In his daughter, Anakin found all of his and Padmé’s combined stubbornness distilled into one little girl. Resultantly, Leia was by far the most strong willed person Anakin had ever met, and unsurprising given her parentage, Leia was already an absolute handful.

 

Leia was also well aware she had her father wrapped around her little finger, regardless of his diligent efforts to discipline her. Towering over her to glower down with his hands on his hips after she had willfully done something naughty, Anakin would only find Leia defiantly matching his pose and glaring right back up at him. It was a sight that Obi-Wan found absolutely hilarious.

 

While he was glad she had finally outgrown holding her breath until she passed out when enraged, Anakin was glad he had several more years to prepare for teenage Leia. As her father, he sensed that keeping her from sneaking into Mos Eisley and away from the cocky smugglers who hung out at the spaceport was going to be a real problem.

 

 

Ahsoka’s fascination with human hair had not waned in the slightest, and she enjoyed doing Leia’s in variations of hairstyles she remembered Padmé sporting. Today Leia’s long brown hair was wound around her ears in two buns, and dressed in a white tunic she looked like a mini-Padmé.

 

She not only looked but also acted much more like her mother than Luke did. Even as a child Leia was economical with her words, and hers tended to carry a lot more weight than those of her verbose brother.

 

“Daddy,” Leia said with a tone in her voice and look in her brown eyes that made it abundantly clear she wanted to be picked up. And if her father did not comply there would be consequences—she was not sure what yet—but there would be some.

 

“Come here, Princess,” Anakin said, reaching down and lifting her into his arms. He brushed a kiss across her forehead as he pulled her close.

 

No longer caring about the sunset in the slightest, Leia wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his neck. She was asleep in minutes.

 

After the second of the twin suns sunk under the horizon, the Skywalker family made there way back towards the homestead where Beru and Obi-Wan were waiting with drinks for the all the adults once the kids were in bed.

 

Anakin watched Ahsoka walking ahead closely followed by the droids. She held Rex in one arm and Luke’s hand with her free one, and was smiling down at him as he jabbered away about something.

 

 

 

As Anakin past by the headstones of the small family cemetery, he briefly turned to Padmé’s.

 

“Fine . . . you win,” Anakin told her.

 

From the afterlife, he felt Padmé emitting a sense of gloating in victory.

 

 

And deep peace.

 

 

 

The End

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.


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